it's who you met at a party.

6/17/08

What did you leave me? Whispered words. Broken promises. Other things better left unsaid. I met you and left you in one long night.

I saw you. Not from across the room, as they often say, but as soon as I walked in. You were waiting near the door, trying to edge out, from the looks of it. At cross-purposes already. You were alone. So was I. You saw me and gave a small, close-lipped smiled, half raising your hand in a wave. Then there was a pause, a look of confusion. Familiar territory. You had mistaken me for someone else. I wish I could say this was the first time something like this had happened. "Hey... you look just like someone else I know!" How many times had I heard that? Too many. But that night? I was grateful for it. I wondered to myself later if you would have even noticed me otherwise.

Small talk. Banter. Friendly exchanges. We covered all the usual things, then meandered into more meaningful conversation. My favorite kind. You were intelligent. This was a pleasant surprise. You smiled, fully, and I saw metal in your mouth and something behind your eyes. I should have run then, but I didn't. Yes, you were intelligent, as intelligent as myself, but it came at a price. One with which I was unfamiliar.

Time passed. Things wound down, moving slowly and leaving things behind. People. Laughter. Love. No one is to blame for what was left behind. It grew later still. Everything was wrong, yet we wanted to make it right. Something passed between us, that's undeniable. But there were other things. Dark things. Things I won't betray or ever say. It grew to be too much. Out of our hands.

I met you and left you in one night. One long night. Let's leave it in the past, shall we? You should hope to never see me again. I have my limits. And I will never be this kind again.