write about what's obvious.

Third day of my daily writing practice - transcribed exactly as I wrote it.



11/15/07



Another night of frustration, yet again sleeping with my face pressed to the wall. The cool paint clings lightly to my sticky face, wet with tears you damn well know I'm crying. What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me? Why is this always happening to us?



Another night of mediocrity, another day exactly the same. I turn toward the fan, lost in thought and lost in time. I remember when I felt valued, important. Like I had something to say. I've lost myself in regret again. And there you are - barely noticeable, insignificant. Always demanding something from me - but your voice fades out into the distance.



I'm in pain, in agony - why won't you comfort me? Haven't I given you enough? You never reach out to me anymore. Maybe you never did. Nothing is wrong. Something is wrong. Everything is wrong. I want you to hold me, stroke my hair, kiss me and reassure me - why aren't you here with me? Where are you?



I'm indifferent. I'm over it. I give up, give in - give in to you, give, give, give. I'm empty. I have nothing left. Nothing for you or anyone else. I can't do this.



No. I won't do this to myself. So you won't help me? Fine. That's just fine. I'll NEVER ask for your help or your kindness ever again. I'm not even sure you're capable of love anyway. You know what? Forget you. I hope you choke on your coldness. I won't stay with you forever, you know. I don't need you.



Yes. That's it. My answer. I can't do this. Not anymore. This time, I'm really giving up. I've never belonged anyway - not to anything or anyone. Not to this life. Not to myself. I gave out too much of myself, and now I can't get it back. I'll start with a drink. A stiff drink, as they say. Bracing. The time is over for second guessing. My time is now.





/I'm pretty sure I both did and did not do what the prompt suggested. I don't care - I really love this piece.